Do you ever feel like quitting?
Does your creative mind keep telling you, "That’s not good enough?"
Six months ago, I decided to spend one entire week reworking some old photos. I wanted to test how much I had improved in the past couple of years, and whether or not I could create better color harmonies. I was really excited to “work” for myself again and test my knowledge.
After 8 hours, I quit, devastated by uninspiring results. I couldn’t produce anything that was up to my own expectations.
“Perfection” is just an ephemeral concept. I learned this a long time ago, you can only get close to it through endless repetition, but no matter how much experience you have, it is always a nerve-wracking process. I quit because of one simple reason: my taste had kept improving over the years, but my skills hadn’t developed at the same pace. The discovery of this gap put me in a bad mindset that forced me to give up.
This is the endless conflict that you constantly experience. This is why it’s always difficult to live up to your own tastes.
Even though it can feel extremely discouraging, this is actually a good thing.
In the long run, being at odds with your own taste and high expectations is something that will set you apart from the competition. Surely, you’ve seen some artists whose work is technically good but which looks artistically lifeless to you. Their work is not intriguing or evocative, and it doesn’t draw you in. It doesn’t have that “special thing,” as Dainius Runkevicius perfectly says:
“If you always like your work you should be concerned. Chances are you’ll end up as that poor guy on the Xfactor stage who can’t sing and has no idea why the crowd is booing him out. Taste is a unique fingerprint that can distinguish you from the rest.”
As a creative, your taste is probably your most relevant and meaningful expressive trait. Feeling awkward about your work just means that your taste is doing its critical and selective job.
It all comes down to accepting the struggle and embracing the negativity that comes from it. It’s when you overcome this feeling that you are able to create something that speaks to yourself and others. You’ll feel great about yourself just for trying, regardless of the actual results. You remain focused, positive, and curious regardless of this overwhelming sensation. Our tastes and skills will always be at war; in order to grow, we must find a way to make them coexist in a balanced way.
Do you still feel uncertain? Answer these questions:
How much time or how many chances would you give a one-year-old child before they should give up, silently accepting that they’ll never learn to walk? 6 months? 258 falls? After each fall, would you be supportive or discouraging?
If these questions sound crazy to you, why are you adopting the same toxic approach when judging your own efforts? How terrible would it be for a baby to learn how to walk under this unnecessary pressure? Why are you putting so much pressure on yourself for something that’s already meant to be difficult?
Next time you feel like quitting like me, take a deep breath. Remember to stay curious, to keep practicing, and to work on not constantly judging yourself for what you do. Your taste is actually on your side!
Sources:
Ira Glass. The Gap, https://vimeo.com/85040589